My Wife's Handbag
Her parting cry was "I'll be five"
As she headed out the door.
She's off to chat to neighbours
That means half an hour or more.
In idle mood I glanced around
The room's internal view.
Spot laying there upon the chair
A handbag that was new.
Last bastion of the female world
Enshrined in mystery.
What lies inside? What can it hide?
This I will have to see.
With curiosity displacing sense,
My trembling hand did grasp
This dainty bag with leather tag
Then opened up the catch.
Inside I found a heavy purse
Crammed full of change no doubt.
Then came to hand spectacle case
Which was the next thing out.
Keys, diary and mobile phone,
Each had their place inside.
The tardis in the making
What else does this bag hide?
Tissues, rain hat, elastoplasts.
Scouts motto "Be prepared"
Is carried out without a doubt
Inside the hidden layers.
Lipstick, mirror, nail file,
I then discovered there
With a feminine essential
A comb to tidy hair.
Polo mints, a chiffon scarf
A hanky trimmed with lace,
A photo of "yours truly"
With a smile upon my face.
Quick! My wife is coming back
Must fill the bag again
For if my darling catches me
I'll suffer endless pain.
God knows what else this bag contains
This knowledge that I lack,
For I was only half way through
When my dear wife came back.
DH 1st March 2009
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